Bathtime!

Quick update:

She's gained one whole pound...she's now 2 lbs. 8 oz.! Every ounce counts!

She's still on the critical respirator...haven't held her yet. :o( Her doctor wants to give her a steroid for her lungs after her infection clears up so that she can transition over to the conventional respirator. That's our next big step.

As I've said before on this blog, thank you so much for your prayers. That's what carries us these days.

And Then She Smiled...

Isn't it amazing how God gives you what you need right when you need it? The last week has been a little rough, but today when I went in to see Emy she practically smiled the entire time. It does a momma's heart good to see her baby smile (even if she's not aware that she's doing it). We rejoice in the smallest things these days; small victories, small special moments in time - we are thankful for them all. I thank God for today.

Ups and Downs

Yesterday, the doctors switched Emy to the conventional ventilator. That was a big thing. The last time they tried to switch her things didn't go so great. When I visited her yesterday, she looked really good and seemed comfortable. She seemed to be handling it well but we received a call this morning from the doctor saying that he needed to switch her back to the critical ventilator due to her oxygen levels and the possibility of a collapsed lung.

For the sake of progress I want her to graduate to the conventional ventilator but I have other motives...once she is stable on the conventional ventilator I am allowed to HOLD HER. She's 1 month old and I haven't held her yet. Yesterday, I thought I was just days away from holding her, but things can turn on a dime in the NICU. The highs are high and the lows are low these days.

I thought I learned so many lessons from the trials we went through to get Mia. I was sure that God taught me what He wanted me to learn, but maybe He's still teaching me. There's some reason that we are going through this. Maybe I didn't learn what I needed before. Maybe God doesn't work that way...I don't know. All I know is to be faithful, keep praying and trust that His will for our family is best. He is faithful to us and we will be faithful to Him.

I want to thank all of you for your encouraging words...we feel your prayers.


Get Me Through December - by Alison Krauss

How pale is the sky that brings forth the rain
As the changing of seasons prepares me again
For the long bitter nights and the wild winter's day
My heart has grown cold my love stored away
My heart has grown cold my love stored away

I've been to the mountain left my tracks in the snow
Where souls have been lost and the walking wounded go
I've taken the pain no girl should endure
Faith can move mountains of that I am sure
But faith can move mountains of that I am sure

Just get me through December
A promise I'll remember
Get me through December
So I can start again

No divine purpose brings freedom from sin
And peace is a gift that must come from within
I've looked for the love that will bring me to rest
Feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest
Feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest

Get me through December
A promise I'll remember
Get me through December
So I can start again

Angel Eyes

Sunday was rough for our family. The doctors tried to switch Emy over to a less "critical" ventilator but she didn't respond well to the change and took two steps back so to speak. From what I've read and heard, this is what happens with these little ones; you take one step forward and two steps back. She stopped moving all together - not good. For those of you that have been pregnant, I'm sure you've been told that when your baby is in your tummy if they move too much there may be trouble and if they stop moving there is trouble. Well, this is what happened with little Emy. She just shut down. They switched her back over to the critical ventilator and she recovered, but recovered slowly. It's the saddest thing in the world to see her cry and nothing comes out because of that stinkin' tube. I just sobbed. Dustin's probably wondering where his somewhat rational wife has gone. Emy's crying and I'm crying and Dustin is just wide-eyed & trying to handle it the best way a dad can in these circumstances.

Well, Monday, Tuesday and today have gone really well for little Miss Emy. She's bounced back and is now feeding again. She looked really good today and seemed more comfortable than I've ever seen her. Mia's now in Mother's Day Out twice a week so that I can spend more time at the hospital with Emy. I read to Emy for 30 minutes or so this afternoon. I know that it might not make much of a difference, but it seems as though her monitor readings seem better when I sing or talk/read to her. May just be a mother's wish...

Thanks, Mom, for the above pic.

More updates soon...

The Verdict Is In...

We have a redhead! The nurses on the nightshift placed a little bow in her hair. What a cutie!



Sometimes in pictures Emy appears larger than she really is. So to give you some perspective we unfolded her diaper and placed it in Dustin's hand to show you how tiny she truly is.

One of the families that we've come to know through our NICU visits lost their little boy while we were visiting Emy tonight. Jeremy was 1 lb. 2 oz. and just couldn't hold on any longer. Please pray for them tonight.

The Journey Begins...

Our roller coaster ride...

On August 6th I was admitted to labor and delivery after a routine office visit to my doctor. Come to find out, my body was trying to go into labor. I was on strict...and I do mean STRICT bed rest in the hospital while they tried to stop whatever contractions came my way. I hardly left my bed until they wheeled me into emergency surgery 10 days later. I started having hard contractions at 2:00 AM on August 16th. The nurses would give me a shot every 2-3 hours to stop the contractions, but Emy couldn't wait. Finally at 8:40 PM, after a long hard day of contractions that couldn't be stopped, my doctor ordered an emergency c-section. Emy was breach and I had already nearly delivered her on my own. My mom was with me when they made the call to take me into surgery. As they prepped me for surgery, Dustin scrambled to make it to the hospital on time. I don't know how he made it, but he did. I was on the operating table and here comes Dustin - scrubs and all! I don't think he'd mind me saying that he was a bit emotional and I was the one trying to calm him down!

Emy Elizabeth was welcomed into the world at 9:19 PM, weighing 1 lb. 8 oz. and 12 1/2 inches long. She gave us a few quick cries before the doctors started working on her. That was a great sign...if she was crying, she was breathing.

The NICU was full, so the doctors were trying to find out where they would transfer her. They had hoped she would stay there, but they weren't sure. Well, our prayers were answered and she was able to stay in our hospital. Thank the Lord. I heard a week later that if I had delivered any later then she might have been flown out of state due to the lack of available NICU beds in Oklahoma. I due wish I could have held her in my tummy a little longer, but I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason. I can't imagine having to travel to Texas to see my little girl. God was truly watching out for our family.

I was soon released from the hospital, but had to leave half of my heart there. It was so hard to leave without Emy. I returned home to recover, but didn't seem to be feeling better. After having a high fever everyday (my antibiotics should have done the trick) I was rushed to the emergency room. I apologize in advance to those with a weak stomach...my c-section incision was gushing. I was re-admitted into the hospital and they prepped me for surgery once again. It wasn't a matter of "if" I would have surgery; it was a matter of "when". Calls were made and we had so many people praying for us. PRAYER WORKS. By morning, they said that no surgery was needed. Have I mentioned that prayer works? I was finally released 4 days later and am now feeling much better.

We continue to visit Emy everyday (I missed a few due to my high fever). I can't tell you how hard it is. I cry almost every time I visit her. I'm sure all of the NICU nurses know me as the "crying mom". No really, it is so hard to see your tiny baby with a tube in her nose, hooked up to a respirator and an IV in her leg. I've given birth to her but can't hold her. We can only touch her at certain times during the day. Dustin and I joke that God has made the road to our kids a rough one. We could see Mia, but couldn't touch her for 7 months. We delivered Emy but can't hold her and won't be able to take her home for 3 months. It's hard to understand, but it's very worth it.

With all of this, God is teaching us about prayer. We have so many people praying for our family. People all over the country. God is teaching us to lean on others. Our friends, family & church have helped us so much with so many things, from taking care of Mia to providing us with meals. The nurses and aides at the hospital that cared for me were true angels. One of my nurses, Linda, would read scripture to me and sit and pray with me. I can't even describe how grateful I am. God is also teaching us faith. Maybe I didn't learn my lesson with all we went through to get Mia! We find ourselves leaning more and more on God and the strength He gives us each day. Without it we would be lost.

Thank you to all who posted. Your support and prayers are greatly appreciated. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.